NOT NEARLY NIGH ENOUGH

Man, what's the deal anyway? We spend a billion times more money on bullets than books, and all you care about is looking at naked butts on your iPod. Dick Cheney can't release his new book about health tips because he is always in the hospital. 20,000 dead in a Pakistan earthquake (this is not even news anymore) but more importantly, will Mardi Gras party on? Who will look after the kittens?

Sorry, just woke up on the wrong side of a dirty mattress on a kitchen floor.