All Cats Don't Go To Heaven

When I was a young boy, they told me animals get to go to Heaven with you when you die. Now I'm not so sure about that. When I was all going to Church and stuff they made it pretty clear who gets into Heaven (affluent white people) and who doesn't get into heaven (homosexuals and empowered women). Since it's impossible for an animal to properly worship God or control its homosexual lust, then there is no other possibility for them than to spend their eternal afterlife in the fiery abyss, constantly being eviscerated and otherwise tortured by horrible demons, writhing in diaboloical agony until the end of time.

Enjoy the week-end and drive carefully.