The Eighth Wonder

Dear Xmas,

You were yesterday. So how come when I went to the post office today to drop off a couple of buckets of packages the post office was closed? I am going to have to re-date about 50 packages because you still think it's still you. After that I went to get some beer. Guess what? Beer is not sold on the day after Xmas here. It's Monday, and some of us need to work and failing that, get drunk. But I bet if I was speeding I'd get a ticket, wouldn't I, Xmas? Before I was just bummed out because of you, Xmas. Now I am extremely mad at you. Xmas, I am breaking up with you. If you call me again I'll call the police.

Love,
Jeffrey Rowland

PS: I just noticed the Chav Bar* is open today. You're going to force me to go to the Chav Bar, aren't you Xmas?


*The bar right by my apartment where Chavs go to drink.