The Englishman
Many of you may be familiar with the exquisite works of my British colleague John Allison, AKA The Englishman. Johnny and I go back over half a decade now and we're fierce competitors. I feel it is time this competition was addressed.
This is how we roll at TopatoCo headquarters -- Star Wars and Endangered Species Fridays. Be sure to look at Pictures of Stuff on Cats.
posted by jeffrey rowland at 5:52:00 PM
50 Comments:
I wonder how freedom tastes!
Like chicken, of course.
As an Englishman (who drinks his tea out of an ordinary-sized cup (incidentally, you Yanks seem to have no bloody idea how to make tea)), I heartily approve of this strip! My commendations to your upstart republic.
Oh, and hooray for the Big Lebowski quote!
I am an Irishman who drinks tea out of a mug. I hope you can cope with that.
J-Ro is ingenius.
Like chicken, of course.
Like glorified chicken.
OMG you're all Han Solo-ified. I need to change my panties.
Thanks for the link about stuff on cats. I thought I was the only one....
Am I the only one who's going to point out that the Englishman is an absolute cutie?
~Ae
Scotland > England and the US
*flexes*
Of course, we're all Yukeys deep down, so it's cool. Australia and New Zealand can join the fun too.
Why am I wasted after a pint of honey beer and a pint of IPA? This is ridiculous. I've even signed up for Blogger. Ack.
Time for tea (I'm a "ridiculously large mug and loads of sugar" kind of tea drinker myself).
Dude - he's right. And we drink from mugs.
i'm surprised The Englishman's associate, The Nihilist, didn't show up and tell you he vos goinng to fuoack you up, Rowland.
First the crappy Jar-Jar costume, and now a grey sweatshirt and green bib is supposed to pass for Boba Fett. Why does P always get shafted on the Star Wars dress up days?
Tea, what, that brown shit with ice? You know, the stuff Nestea makes but when you really want a soda it's the only thing left in the vending machine?
A who watches crickets playing on TV?
Britain is gay, and I don't mean homosexual, cause that'd be alright by me.
I hate to break it to you, but the only people I've found that make a worse cup of tea than Americans are the British. No respect for proper steeping times at all.
You know, seeing The Englishman watching a lovely game of cricket on the telly, or "TV" if you will, brings up a question I've always wondered about: since we have baseball videogames in the US, do they have cricket videogames in the UK? If so, I'd be fascinated to see one.
Also, I just love saying The Englishman out loud. I even make sure to lower my voice a bit, so it sounds more menacing and cool. It is pretty much the best super hero/villain/agent/spy/mercenary/bounty hunter name ever. Thank you for creating it, J-Ro :)
I hope you're happy Jeffrey, you killed the cat site.
Is no website free from the tyranny of lots of people looking at it?
Jeffery I am listening to 80's hair metal and I am totally ROCKING OUT
You know, that's a very good drawing of John Allison. Even without the context, I could totally tell it's him.
I so agree ; I knew it was Mr. Allison at once!!!
Also, cricket is so bloody boring it is almost wrong. Maybe it is just my natural depisement of sports but it is pretty boring by any standards.
You know, seeing The Englishman watching a lovely game of cricket on the telly, or "TV" if you will, brings up a question I've always wondered about: since we have baseball videogames in the US, do they have cricket videogames in the UK? If so, I'd be fascinated to see one.
There have been a couple, yeah. Not really a huge industry seeing as cricket is the most boring bloody sport in the history of ever. I hate sports in general, actually, but cricket takes the biscuit.
We have loads of football games but to be honest, cricket isnt as huge as your making out, though the current advert featuring zombie cricketers to prodigys 'spitfire' is awesome.
*drinks tea made from BOILING water, brewed for two minutes and diffused in a pot from MUG*
Watching Cricket is like that episode of The Simpsons where Homer goes to a baseball game sober, only nobody watches Cricket drunk, so nobody watches Cricket.
The Englishman eh? Too bad The Paper didn't show up...
*drinks tea made from BOILING water, brewed for two minutes and diffused in a pot from MUG*
Jesus fuck, you boiled the tea? That's about the worst you can fuck up tea without pissing in it. Jeff, Baby can be my Leia any time.
I too am well aware of the torment of an abusive british counterpart. Somewhere across the "pond", as they call it, is a man with my name, and my hobbies. Though it has been suggested that in reality he is just _I_ who happens to be a time-traveller come back to haunt me, that brings up the even greater torment of I myself being a Time-Travelling Asshat. I wish you well in your fight, Viva La Tasty Eagle!
chren wrote: "The Englishman eh? Too bad The Paper didn't show up..."
Mmmm, glasses and an obsessive love of books. Now that is my kind of lady =} You have good taste, sir.
he doesnt seem very english according to his cartoons
Am I the only one who noticed that Jeff has stopped duct-taping his phone to his head?
Also to Oboreruhito, if you aren't saying my country is homosexual. Are you saying it's happy?
*Instead of drinking my tea, I add a few sugars and use it as a medium for dunking (otherwite dry and flavourless) digestive biscuits, which can NOT be done in a tiny cup*
Cricket is weird. And the worst game I ever played was a cricket manager game. CRICKET MANAGER!
I think the idea is to, like, stand out in the sun. run about abit, but mostly stand in the sun.
Unsurprizingly, i only really ever see it played down south. Personally, I prefer "soccer".
Actually, the cricket/baseball analogy is a good one. Cricket becomes fun as hell once you get drunk, and half your time is spent waiting in line to get beer, rather than watching the actual game, and that is where the fun begins.
Me and my friends used to play cricket on the street, but when we started introducing rules it got a bit boring. Plus the balls kept going into people's gardens and they would get really bitchy about it. Then the only person on our street with a cricket bat moved out.
Digestives are good for dunking, but nothing quite beats the Hobnob (I'm thinking of Chewin The Fat's hobnob addiction sketch here). My current plot is to dunk a McVities' Chocolate Hobnob Flapjack and see what happens.
FWIW: I make my tea with two teabags and the requisite sugar in a single mug, water that's nearly boiling (impatience rather than technique really), and swift stirring while the water is added. Remove tea bags, then add milk. Tea from a pot is of course far better (retain the stirring technique) but I'm a student so I don't have the patience.
We're totally hijacking this comments thread.
I am suprised not more people cared about the Lebowski quote.
Jesus fuck, you boiled the tea? That's about the worst you can fuck up tea without pissing in it.
Dude, the fuck? The water is boiling when you pour it on the tea leaves. That is what tea is. Do not be telling me that American bullshit with water that was kind of hot once is the right way of doing things. It makes a nasty weak tea, it's insipid. Shit dude, we're the only reason you guys have tea in the first place, listen to us on this. The water has to be boiling.
"Am I the only one who noticed that Jeff has stopped duct-taping his phone to his head?"
maybe it's.. like super high tech duct tape. with another mouth piece duct taped on to one part.
Yeah.
Lane: Yes, actually, yes I am.
And that may be a RAZZ Jeffrey has. RAZZ has. Has RAZZ, RAZZ has.
I like how JA is polite while slagging you
As far as I can tell the Americas suck some pretty big male donkey mating muscle. Even though I've lived in Canada all my life (And I still do) I'd say that the other side of the world is far superior.
So, in closing, The Americas (Mainly the northern one) = suck.
Where has Jeff gone?
Someone has definitely overcooked that bird of freedom lately. J.Ro, do you have evil counterparts in other countries as well? "Cause if you do, I'm betting it will be The Hungarian next: "Good evening, Mr Rowland. My hovercraft is full of eels."
Jeffery, from the picture in frame 4, we see that Englsihman is living in Manchester city-centre (possibly in the Arndale shopping centre...?), England. Why don't you pay him a visit? I'd be happy to show you round...
This strip is about three thousand times as funny if you read The Englishman's lines out loud with a really posh accent.
Heresiarch
The Queen actually knighted someone I know! He was one of the 1000 people who got OBE's, along with Jimmy Page and Brian May. Now I have to call him 'Sir' next year when I see him.
I want the Freedom Eagle alive -
no disintegrations.
YAY, lebowski!!
If you not only say The Englishman's lines all posh, but also say J Ro's lines like The Spleen, it's a whole 'nother level of hilarious...
Overcompensating is so fucking popular that your link bandwith exceeded Stuffonmycat.com. You know you're God when you link to a website and it goes under from all the raving fanboys.
man, when i saw that reference in there I lept up and thought "Yes! A chance to prove my esoteric cleverity to Jeffrey Rowland, surely he cares!" but then i saw that the 3rd guy to comment did that. irony.
It would also be hilarious if smebody else already left a comment like this. irony^2. i'm far too lazy to check for that though.
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