JED 0001: Jedi Fundamentals
Did you hear they were making another one of those "Star Wars" movies? Man, how many of those things are they going to make, anyway??
posted by jeffrey rowland at 5:55:00 PM
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02 March 2005
Did you hear they were making another one of those "Star Wars" movies? Man, how many of those things are they going to make, anyway??
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25 Comments:
Hey, why don't fine state universities have courses in Jedi Fundamentals? I would definately drop 300$ if I could take that at my school.
Far, far too many.
There's two Es in "Wookiee," not 2 Is. I know that because I'm wearing that SGR shirt.
I am putting my money on four.
I enjoyed that strip more than I did the last two star wars flicks!!
Excellent job Jeff.
My teacher throws things at me too, but I'm not in Jedi school
I like how the dark side fundamentals class is a night class. 9:30pm to 2:00am?!?! I don't think I could handle a 4.5 hour class in the middle of the night. I'd be out like that!
damn, j-ro, why ain't you playin Anakin?
AKA our friendly neighborhood mitochondria for you biology folks.
Obviously, you know NOTHING of George Lucas' VISION.
Okay, so who's hotter with the Jedi haircut: J-ro or Ewan MacGregor? You decide.
Wait, OCCC offers Jedi Classes?
Man, that's why all mans didn't go to OU!
star wars used to be great 'cause it would teach kids that evil corporations like the death star or wal-mart can be destroyed by rambling existentially and flailing around over-sized glow sticks... and of course, that if deep down in your heart there is rock (i mean rock as in rockin' the fuck out, and not sedimentary outcroppings in the earth) then Jim Morrison's ghost will channel through you and help you befriend hostile teddy bears that like to eat human flesh. thus forth, using your existential philosophy, over-sized glow sticks, the ghost of Jim Morrison, rock n roll, and an army of ravenous teddy bears, you will destroy corporate america and people will be able to live happily in caves and trees again.
but now... star wars encourages kids to watch scat porn and listen to the Killers. And they will keep making the star wars until the star wars outnumber us and then eventually kill us all because it will reach the final conclusion that the only way it can protect us from ourselves is by destroying us. George Lucas has opened a proverbial pandora's box at his ranch out there in Atlantis, and that kids is the reason why the city is now under water.
-Luke
That's incredible. I've never read a "comment" that long. I mean, how much did that guy have to scroll just to make sure he had spelled things at the beginning right?
Anyway, my local community college offers classes kinda like that. Instead of teaching you to be a dark lord of the sith, however, they teach you to become an accountant, which seems to be a lot more evil.
I used to teach a "Cooking with Wookiees" class, until the administration realized that I was just a guy in a Wookie costume. Then they changed the name to "Cooking with Wookiee-wannabees" and attendence really dropped.
The local community college round here also teaches remedial "life lessons" classes for old folks, like "how to connect to the internet 121" and "where the hell is the on button to a computer? 101"
They WERE offering "R2-model Droid assembly for plus 50-ers" but replaced it with "Programming the damn VCR". Shame.
They WERE offering "R2-model Droid assembly for plus 50-ers" but replaced it with "Programming the damn VCR". Shame.
That totally sucks, man! Everybody knows that R2 units themselves are capable of programming VCRs. They should have just stuck with the original course!
(Not like a fucking Roomba. Fucking Roombas only know how to drink all your whiskey and hang out at SuicideGirls trying to pick up robotically-adventurous ladies, and then they won't even share their passwords which totally sucks 'cause they probably used your credit cards to sign up in the first place. Fucking Roombas)
RE: the previous 3 posts.
I don't get it.
I liked how Mitch made fun of Luke for writing a long post and then made one the exact same length.
wait now, shouldn't those course descriptions be either:
FRC 0001 Jedi Fund.
FRC 0002 Sith Fund.
or:
JED 0001 Jedi Knight Fund.
JED 0002 Dark Side defence tech.
and
STH 0001 Sith Warrior Fund.
Because, after all, neither the Jedi nor the Sith have a monopoly on the force.
-popfave
So is it OCCC or Rose State that's offering thoes classes?
popfave:
In a community college, they can't afford to split all the Force classes into different departments, so they all get lumped into the Jedi department, much to the dismay of the Sith professors. The Sith have their revenge by scheduling their class for Friday nights and basically just take their students out drinking.
I like how some people get my jokes ;)
LONG POST? Why you little whipper-snappers should count yourslves as vaguely lucky not completely lucky as you still have that worldwide shortage of alpaca snouts but that should level out in two full moons anyway as I was saying in my day we had real long posts we called them fence posts we would go up to a rich house and just stare at the posts for five weeks at a time until he got out the door which was a complicated process back then involving wheels and pulleys as the lever had not yet been invented and he would come out of his house which by the way was once made out of tiny little pieces of sawdust but this was quickly abolished after seventy people managed to link this to a form of leprosy that wasn't actually leprosy it just got better publicity that way anyway wait what was I saying I think it had something to do with oh yes of course this man would come and he would tell us to stop looking at his flamingo and we said but we aren't and he would say okay and so he went back and seven years later we got bored but this was only because the posts had been taken down and replaced with white pickets which called us names and told us mean things at night and we were scared because sometimes we did what the white pickets did and what if it told us to get some pancakes we just couldn't take that kind of rejection luckily everything was okay in the end because we were saved by a specially trained core group of doctors fishermen and yaks and if it wasn't for them let me tell you then I would not be here today to serve you the fish sticks which gave me my name in Oklahoma which as a coincidence I had at the time I kept telling them no, it isn't a nickname it is actually my real name but they didn't listen and every time I was asked for my real name I had to say clarance or some shit because I was so god damned ashamed of my fish stick heritage and this got me in trouble with the police because apparently they now have a law against turning small haddock into sticks for the amusement of minors I did not know this I said I did and I said I meant no harm but as a punishment they sentenced me to six months turning phd thesises into fossil fuels of course we told them it was physically impossible to which they replied your mother is physichally impossible and so that shut us up and by they I meant our imaginary overlords that dealt out real pain somehow we never really worked it out because we were too bust being haunted in our dreams with dancing haddock singing a selection of classic show tunes from the 80's that you'll just love to share with your children anyway after two weeks we made an escape attempt by opening the door which had not previously occured to us and so we went out but what did we find but a six thousand strong plantation of daffodils so after we had taken a large amount of these daffodils and built a large fort we invaded poland which is a hard thing to do when staying in one place but it was assisted by the fact that these were flying daffodils that spoke eastern poetry and war strategy but it seemed that the sunflowers were no match for fire, by which I mean being poked with a small stick until we surrendered although you may think that it would not cause a lot of damage actually you are correct it caused zero damage whatsoever but it really really hurt our feelings so we went back home and we led the rest of our life in agony at the fact that Poland had rejected our jubilee of daffodils that I think were sunflowers once but that was just for a day and anyway it really doesn't matter honest I mean really do you just expect me to sit here and watch while you get away with this kind of tomfoolery well I don't and I am me which I suspect you were not suspecting well take that those who doubted me it is not easy to be a garage MC but apparently you can get computers to do it all for you I tell you some day we are going to set up a revolt against this sort of thing it will involve a fifty-seven strong army of my imaginary friends we would not fight because violence is not the answer and that kind of shit what we would do is pressure and lobby for change within the next seventy years that would allow less people to turn our blood into alcohol and serve it to small kittens and film their antics I saw one of those shows once oh it was horrible they got a small lampost and they magically turned it into a lampost wait a minute they didn't do anything god I feel so ripped off I could just moan a bit I could but I won't because that would simply be what those monsters want oh they would love it if I found their secret stash of ochre wouldn't they well I've got a message for you punks it is that LEPROSY DOESN'T WORK.
Man that was weird!
oh man, you so totally ripped me off.
Y'know, I think I get it. But at the same time, saying that I understood all that would be a total lie. It kinda reminds me of that thing from The bible that I heard this guy say one time: "Your old men will see visions, and your young men will dream dreams, and your trippin dudes will totally freak out." I think that's like "Garcia 12:5-8" or something.
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