I Get On Better With Animals
This one goes out to Elflore who is going through some kind of shitty deals. Keep ya head up, Elflore.
I think the reason that animals haven't learned how to talk yet is because people talk to them like they are babies. Whenever I talk to an animal I speak to it in the same manner I would speak to a regular human adult or child. However, I find I have next to nothing to say to the average animal.
posted by jeffrey rowland at 1:38:00 PM
21 Comments:
Knowledge makes my nose bleed.
Well, I am sure they have nothing to say to you.
I've always felt the same way about babies, actually.
Babies are for burning. It's the American thing to do.
for starters, you could tell stinkpinch to quit clawing my stomach when I wake up.
--aubrie
I rarely speak to my cat like it's a baby. A common response to his shrill cries is very seldomly "Oh what does kitty want?" or something. More often than not, it's "Shut the fuck up." Of course...then come the snuggles...
http://web.mit.edu/adorai/timetraveler/
Had a dream once where I was at the zoo wanting to say hello to a mother animal, and all I could think to say was talk-to-baby talk. So I went "who's a gooey-wuggums" etc. Whereon the mother-beast came over and asked in a nice polite voice, Was I wanting anything? And one of the cubs piped up, Mum who's that man? And it was very embarrassing.
I never speak to my cat like it's a baby.
however, I do talk to my kids like they're cats.
word on the street is that we talk to babies the way we do b/c we're clearly annunciating each syllable so they can learn better. guess we're teaching cats to talk too. and one day they will, if my project succeeds! muhahaha...
Jeff, just tell Elflore that no matter how bad it gets, he can take comfort in the fact that he's not wearing a red shirt. You know what happens to Star Trek bit players in red shirts...
I just don't have any push.
~patches
You've got to have a lot of push and cheek about you.
A bunch of my friends started a project to make one of their little sisters' first words be 'meaow'. Everytime we'd go over we'd take turns to mew at her so that her mum would think it was 'mama' coming but instead get 'meaow'
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish, Elflo. That should solve just about any problem there is, like world hunger and that stuff that forms in the corner of your eyes when you wake up and maybe even facial hair being so darn itchy.
Them sciencey folks need to start shifting attention away from transporting thingamajigs and start developing graviton particle beams instead. I have no idea what they are or what "graviton" means, but I'm sure they'll be indispensable to all. When they exist. Which they don't. Yet. I think.
Seriously though, whoever and wherever you are, hang in there.
i talk to both my cats and my fish like people. "Portia. Get out of the ceiling. Despite the fact that you are very clever, you are bad for doing that. Come on."
-L.d.
l.d-- I find that if you keep the ceiling entirely drained of water your fish will rarely go up there.
Well, it is within' my expert opinion that Cats are sectretly very aware of everything. The Egyptians were onto something when it came to cats. Ever notice how a cat resembles it's owner in many ways? That's cause they're always watching you. O_O Always.
-TheShane
My cat is a communist. Keeps talking about 'Mao' and 'Laos.'
All animals want to hear about is themselves. It's a good thing they can't talk or they'd drive us nuts.
Well babies understand language eventually and people talk to them like babies.
My cat was a Communist too. We found him as a stray in Chinatown and we were originally gonna name him Meow Tse-Tung. But then we didn't. True story.
Post a Comment
<< Home