The Illiterate Princess, Part 5

The Illiterate Princess story begins here!

The Illiterate Princess, Part 4

The Illiterate Princess story begins here!


Part four! Arthur C. Clarke once said "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." Is the same true for sufficiently obsolete technologies? Our current methods of storying important data aren't very sturdy if you think about it. A couple of good-sized solar flares can turn all this Cyberdata into useless wads of silicon-infused fiberglass. The only reason we know many things about ancient history is because they were literally written in stone. Are future civilzations going to know what to do with an USB flash drive? Are there going to be any future civilizations? How will they know my recipe for ice cream soup???

That's why I use lasers to write all my important information (imbedded in the code of Metallica mp3s) on diamonds, and put the diamonds in a steel-reinforced, titanium case with an electromagnetic seal. Each day I hide the Case deep within a mountain in the Middle East, and I employ a small cadre of Knights to stand guard in the Master Chamber. The Knights realize it is their solemn duty to guard the Case, and require only sandwiches for their work. They have also agreed to pass on the responsibility to their descendants for as many generations as possible. In the event of the Knights' extinction, with his final breath, the last remaining Knight is instructed to activate a failsafe device which consists a series of tests and booby-traps that will ensure the only living creature that can gain access to my recipes, receipts, and sketches will be a being of absolute, benevolent purity.

You just can't be too sure these days.

The Illiterate Princess, Part 3

The Illiterate Princess story begins here!


Overcompensating guest week continues with your guest artist Jeffrey Rowland!

I am spending probably more time than I should working out the script details of this next book. I believe that one of the weaknesses of The Case of the Missile Crisis was in the pacing and dialogue (second only to the complete disaster involved in the shipping which has also been fixed), and I want to really tweak that for the next go-round . I have given myself a deadline of June 32 to have it at the printer.

The soundtrack to my life recently has been Stars' Set Yourself on Fire (music plays instantly). OK let's go!

The Illiterate Princess, Part 2

The Illiterate Princess story begins here!


Part two! I just realized this story is actually incomplete, so it probably will run in the new book! The six pages that are completed will run throughout the weekend, but I think I'm going to redraw it for the book version. One thing about the new book is that it will have better drawings in it. Anyway!

Fleen has some new writers. Witness wide-eyed, youthful, optimistic journalists as they slowly transform into bitter, haggard wordbeasts.

The Illiterate Princess, Part 1

Here is part one of "The Illiterate Princess," which may or may not run in The Case of Atlantis. Topato Potato demands an audience and it is our duty to be his in audience.

They found another Stonehenge in Brazil! This stuff just writes itself, people.

Paxil Shmaxil

I actually wasn't going to do regular OC updates this week and run a Magical Adventures in Space story instead! But topics are by nature topical and there's never a better time to scoop the news than when it slimy and hollering, fresh out of the news womb.

I have a lot of opinions about anti-depressants that I will keep to myself. Suffice it to say, I think they are prescribed to a lot of people who don't really need them. A doctor once suggested Zoloft to me, and I need Zoloft like a giraffe needs a subscription to Maxim. These days I don't go to doctors unless there is something fixing to fall off.

It just seems to me like a substance that directly affects your brain shouldn't be as freely available as soft drinks. I mean, thousands of years of research have determined that the primary side effects of marijuana are laziness, confusion, and hunger, but it's as illegal as prostitution. Yet something that is routinely prescribed to children that affects their brain functions that might make them want to commit suicide is completely legal. Too bad the Food and Drug Administration is as corrupt and ineffective as the rest of the Bush adminsitration.

High horse dismounted! Enjoy a free ride with your old friends Topato Potato, Sheriff Pony, and Princess Dongle for the remainder this week, and I am gonna put as much effort as I can into The Case of Atlantis!