The Problems Of The Privileged

So yes The Situation is desperate now that people are unable to, I don't know, wash their hair while they are on an airplane. Do you know how to deal with not being able to bring liquids on an airplane? Don't bring liquids on an airplane. I realize that as Americans the most minor inconvenience can be interpeted as an act of war but just leave your dang Red Bulls and toothpaste at home -- they will have these items where you are going.

Now that the heat wave has let up I can get back to hardcore projects; I am completely rewriting Case of Atlantis and I am working on an Ovecompensating collection entitled "A Dangerous Obsession." Also... Stuffed Joannas!

Weedmaster P Dreams of Trebek

Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be Alex Trebek, a man who has had the same job for over twenty years. Then I wonder what it's like to be a country music star like Toby Keith, a man whose despicable ignorance plumbs the depths of human imagination yet is adored by millions.

As a response to recent events, The Englishman and I have decided to temporarily abandon our feud in the interest of starting a new country music duo. We haven't decided on much yet except the title of the first album -- Impossible to be Responsible. The Englishman's new book is finally available for purchase!

Additionally, TopatoCo shipping has taken over distribution for Mac Hall and is in talks with Monsignor Joey Comeau for distribution! It is a good day to be the President of TopatoCo.

Here is a close-up picture of the sharpest thing ever made and a site that think the know where Atlantis is. So many links! We put they "hyper" in "hyperlink."

The Ballad of Vermont Pete

The dirtiest hippies in the world come from Vermont*, and that's where Vermont Pete is from! Vermont Pete is the last surviving member of an extremely pedantic Doomsday Cult that believed the world was going to end on December 31, 2000 because that's the actual beginning of the millennium.

Vermont Pete is extremely burly and surly and is impervious to criticism. He is also an expert at cooking.

*Based on 2000 data, narrowly edging out Oregon.

AOL Doesn't Care About White People

First it was the customer retention fiasco, then they announced they were cutting 5,000 jobs and providing their service for free (which is already free to those in the know). Then AOL released a massive amount of private data accidentally on purpose. It is rumored that next week AOL will be hiring crackheads to enter its customers homes in the dark of night where they will perform all manner of unseemly crackhead-related activities.

Everything is going fine, there is nothing to worry about today! I am however discontinuing the "Hugs Not Jihads" shirt because it's not working. People are still not hugging nearly enough.

Joe Francis is a Piece of Crap

To be fair, it's honestly hard to tell who's more detestable -- Joe Francis or the girls who are dumb and drunk enough to make "Girls Gone Wild" the enormous success that it is.

Anyway, people shouldn't be allowed to act like this, it doesn't matter if they actually get to hang out with Paris Hilton.

This is actually about the 5th version of this comic which is why it took so long to update. Gotta start simplifyin' a bit.