The Enemy Within

And that's it for this week in my world! Now it's off to New Haven, CT where the Metro North will haul my butt to Grand Central Station. GOODBYE, MODERATION!

Please direct all complaints regarding this comic to your Senator or Congressman... oh wait! You don't even know what their names are!

Be kind, rewind.
<3jjr

Ghost Fighter

The Poopmonster and I have been talking about diversifying our incredibly successful businesses. We don't want to become one-trick ponies you know, since one day soon most Americans will become so fat that it will be impossible for them to wear clothing of any kind.

That's why we're considering going into the lucrative Paranormal Investigations field. Western Massachusetts probably has at least as many ghosts as it does straight girls and we want to find them. There are some ghosts, and we are going to find them. And I guess we'll try to talk to them? This part is unclear.

Oh yeah also I am going to see Belle and Sebastian and The New Pornographers on Friday in New York City! Then MC Frontalot on Saturday night! Nobody deserves to live this good.

Burnout!

Say what you will about being burned out, it's definitely better than a neverending torrent of diabolical horror. I'm going to now tell you a little bit about Andre Tinkle, a new character in the Wigu story (which I never imagined would be so difficult to finish).

Andre Tinkle is Quincy Tinkle's brother. Andre lives in an abandoned nuclear missile silo in North Dakota. Why? Dr. Andre Tinkle is a Doctor, and he believes that Earth and Mars are both inhabitable, and they both are inhabited from time to time (about the time it takes for a civilization to master space travel). Right now, Andre believes that Mars is re-energizing. Andre Tinkle is crazy. Or is he? He's qualified to be an astronaut in like nine different countries.

Racism Alley

Racism. It's kind of funny in secret until the person whose race you're joking about just happens to overhear you. That's usually when violence breaks out, and that is what we as a society are trying to avoid. It doesn't matter how funny the racism is, it's not worth anybody getting hurt.

I guess the lesson here is that it's wrong to have racism but if you're going to tell a racist joke because it is insanely hysterical, make sure nobody overhears you and that you and the person or persons to whom you are telling the joke understand that the joke is only funny because it is ironically ludicrous that someone would actually feel that way about another group of people.

Also thank you to everyone who gave me advice about my tooth! It feels much better today and I am taking extremely good care of it. Also this is the first comic I drew with an actual "dippy brush" and I feel extremely grown up now!

If you missed "Free Pancakes Day," don't worry about it. Pancakes are poor people food.

Meanwhile at Pearly Gates Trailer Park

Okay so my lower right wisdom tooth broke through and now my gum is trying to grow back over it, meanwhile my whole cheek is swollen and I'm scared and alone and in pain. I'll deal with it naturally though, I'd prefer to hang on to as many of my original parts as possible (especially the nads). I read somewhere that the reason we have such problems with our wisdom teeth is because people's faces and mouths have been getting gradually smaller over the last few thousand years because apparently people with tiny faces are subconsciously considered to be more boneworthy. I believe that, in the words of John Oates, we need to "get our d*cks out of our hearts."

Man I am fired up, let's do this thing HUAH!