Stalking the Dark Stalker

I am petrified. Every noise could be the last noise I hear.

It's a beautiful day; there's not a cloud in sight. I should be outside. Or I shouldn't be outside. There's bears outside.

What this comic is saying, is that there is no way the cat is getting into heaven.

Update: 10:33PM. One hour, 27 minutes to go. Things seem to be okay. Doors are locked. It's a bit chilly around though, a lot chillier than it usually is.

Knockin' On Valhalla's Door

I must say I am honestly a bit nervous about this. I almost got up on the roof to take a picture of the ground for the last panel but that might have been a very bad idea.

Tomorrow I will stay away from sharp things, insects, and undercooked poultry. I will not go outside. I have people who will bring me things if I need them.

Tomorrow I may set up a "Deth Kam" so in case I do buy a farm you can get a nice screencap. Stay tuned to see if I die or not!

Bizarre Update #1: I have just purchased a brand new shovel.

Bizarre Update #2: Today while mowing, the transformer next to the fence blew a fuse. Upon closer examination, the lawn chair on which I was reading "Snow Crash" was directly below a power line (the power was out for nearly two hours).

Bizarre Update #3: While dragging a fallen branch out to the street (where two men who showed up to cut some branches away from the electrical wires parked their big wood chipper truck) I cut my right leg above the spider bite scar something awful.

Bizarre Update #4: My roommate Matt asked me a few days ago if I wanted to go to a to a big rugby party with him in Louisiana. I declined, stating the aformentioned reasons. Moments ago in Dallas, a man pulled a gun on Matt at a convenience store. He is fine, but we are all getting pretty freaked out.

A Limited Time Offer

For a week or two, Weedmaster P's POT T-shirt will be available for you to buy!



I don't want to leave this up too long or else I will probably get in trouble.

Also if I die on Saturday you will get a refund, because there ain't no way somebody else is going to spend my money after I die. I want to die dead broke.

I'm also not sure what happened to comments.

Business is Impossible

Many of you are experiencing delays in your orders, and TopatoCo truly does care. TopatoCo knows that it is silly to get all riled up about things though. We are trying to establish order and in order to do that we are required to undergo a lenghty period of infuriating chaos.

Four Twenty

Overcompensating does not encourage the doing of illegal things, but if that's something you do, then this is your special day.

Happy birthday to Jimmy Ray Rowland; I once lived inside of this man's testicles.

Chill With Your Old Lady

Friends are good to have! Oh, did you know the Tinkle family is back in Wigu? Yeah, my "main comic" now is just called "Wigu." It it only a word, and a little boy.

Speaking of t-shirts, if you are waiting on T-shirts, I am told a fairly large shipment is going out this week.

Also today is the 10th anniversary of the Oklahoma City bombing, which many of you may remember and I was pretty close to. I just want to remind you that there's more to be afraid of than the government wants you to be afraid of. Like, there is so much to be afraid of that there's really no point in being afraid at all. I think it is better to die suddenly and happily than old and afraid. Be happy and friendly, but watch your ass.

Horny Honky

I trust you all had a firm, round weekend. I saw a car the other day with "HONK IF UR HORNY" written on the back in shoe polish. While I consider it somewhat crass to publicly admit one's horniness, the situation presented something of a conundrum -- is it more dignified to lie and ignore the Code of Crude Shoe Polish Queries, or to admit your own horniness to other motorists? I still wonder if I made the right choice. It may haunt me to the grave.

I'm not even going to explain how hard it was to get those GTA San Andreas shots in this comic; it is embarrassing.

The Death Countdown continues though I am ignoring it today. Five more days.