Obsession

Ladies, I hate to say it, but as long as Parker Posey is breathing there is a chance that I will not be true to you, because the way I see it, as long as she's alive I have a chance, remote though it may be. Parker, if you read this, you can totally be in my band. We're called the WMDs. Our first album will be called "Where we at?"

Man I got a lot to do this weekend, mostly shipping and inking pages for the book about fun things. These pages are looking better as I do them. I'm tempted to to redo the first couple of pages with what I've learned since I've been dedicating to black and white. Here's a panel I did last night.



Have a good weekend! Hopefully I have killed the last of the fruit flies up in here. They put up a good fight but I am the Good Guy.

Enemy of the Hate

Jeez you guys, it's been a while since we put out some new T-shirts! But now that I have an Actual Assistant, it's time to do a big brain dump in the next few days. After I finish the Wigu story (The Case of the Missile Crisis), of course, and get those files all sent to the print shop. I have taped to my monitor the following notes:

SON OF ITS ON NOW
DO YOU BELIEVE IN DRAGONS
MACHINE ELVES
EARF
TACO TRACT
TACOS
NATURE'S VEGETABLES

I have also invented a new word called "CNNGASM" (pronounced "see-en-en-gazim"). It is what happens when the words "children," "fiery," and "mangled" can all appear in a headline together. It is my gift to the world, something you can use for free; I'm not like those jerks at Cingular. The creative process is mind-bogglingly fascinating.

My Autobiography

Thanks for all your nice feedback on yesterday's comic. It's nice to know I live in a society where everyone doesn't utterly despise women.

Nothing is going right today! The ballet is deafening. I'll come back in a while, after I burn something.

You Better Axe Somebody

Let me start by saying that I was advised by several friends not do do this comic. I felt it needed to be done. When I first saw an ad for "Axe Body Spray" (noisy, ridiculous, offensive website intentionally not hyper-linked) a couple of years ago I didn't know what it was. I assumed it was some sort of over-the-counter date-rape drug, because a man would spray the Axe on himself and women, well, woman-shaped objects of pure lust, would hurl themselves toward him with complete abandon, totally ready to lay down. So shocked was I by this deplorable misogyny that I sort of denied it; it was only after a hysterical, late-night hynotherapy session with The GynoStryker that I was able to recall my voluptuous feminist rage.

Screw you, Axe Body Spray. This is the 90s, dammit. It's time to stop acting like that.

Art Bell

Many of you know that I am a pretty big fan of the radio show Coast to Coast AM, but I should have mentioned that they have opened up their subscription service for this weekend and you can download shows for free for another couple of hours if you're interested. Coast to Coast will be about UFO crashes one night, and Bigfoot the next night, and if you're lucky, at least one person will call in during the show claiming to be the AntiChrist. Hardly a day passes when the Poopmonster and I don't listen to the previous night's Coast to Coast program in the office while we're doing our thing.

I'm waiting for the show to come on tonight because Art Bell is back on the mic tonight. If you don't know who Art Bell is then you probably weren't a very big X-Files fan.

A few years ago, Art Bell retired under bizarre, secretive circumstances and then came back with a very abbreviated schedule. A couple of weeks ago his wife died suddenly in the night, and Art is doing his first show tonight after his wife's passing. He apparently spent every single day for the last 15 years with his wife, Ramona, so it's going to be really interesting to listen to what he does tonight.

If you've got a radio that picks up AM stations it might be a good idea to listen in tonight. They also broadcast a live stream online which should be free to listen to tonight.

The thing I really like about this show and the whole paranormal world that it introduces you to is that for the most part, it allows people to be weird and creative and doesn't try to restrict them with conventional tactics. They'll try to have discussions about global politics that are completely free of political bias. Granted many of these discussions will be about the reptilian aliens who secretly run the Illuminati, but they try to be neutral. Their talks about religion are usually limited to deciphering Bible code and other ancient writings to try to determine the location of Ark of the Covenant.

Anyway I'm doing that and inking pages tonight so come do the same thing I'm doing tonight!