Straight Outta Saudi

When you see a comic like this you know I've been listening to old Alex Jones at like six in the morning. In Alex Jones' world, it makes complete sense there's like five old white dudes sitting in some cavernous chamber in Europe with their pinkies in their mouths just playing an Actual Game of Risk.

This comic is actually a commentary on the state of popular mass media. There are two types of news now. "We Are Doomed" and "Banal Gossip." It's so deep, man.

Literally thousands of people have asked my what happened to my moustache last year -- a query to which I could not supply a response with any sort of tact until exactly right now. It needs to be the right season to have a moustache. It's all about etiquette.

Tomorrow I look at the Movie Death Database.

The Joseph McCarthy of Furries

That's one less furry on the streets tonight. You can sleep a little safer tonight; your special little half-tiger, half skunk-o-lope, half college girl can skip off to school without worrying about some freak in a blue suit trying to rub up against her in an elevator. Excelsior!

But... now I wonder... Did I nab the right perp? Maybe Jeph Jacques isn't Nipples the Bear. Maybe it was the Insane Hobo. Maybe it was The Poopmonster. Maybe I just didn't ask the right people.

I Know You

"I know you, a$$hole," Royal Tenenbaum shouted to the confused, fleeing Eli Cash. And I know you, Nipples the Bear. But I think a new laptop could persuade me to forget.

Public Relations

Happy Martin Luther King Jr Day. I was just reading some insane conspiracy stories regarding his assassination, which, with some fact-checking, seem a little less insane all the time. Spooky. But thank you Martin Luther King Jr. for all you did for trying to help poor people.